They Can Hack, Steal, and Scam. Good Luck Holding Anyone Accountable.

A hacker, a scammer, and a thief walk into a courthouse. The judge says "Do any of you have representation?" The hacker says "Your Honor, the clerk's password was 1234, so we let ourselves in." The judge says "Case dismissed, that's a clear breach of... nothing, apparently, nobody's charged."

Hackers, thieves and scammers walk, and the justice system just needs a "software update"? Funny how the ones who get prosecuted are rarely the ones with friends in the right agencies 😉 Who decides which cybercrime cases get taken seriously? Just asking.

A "software update" from the same crowd that told us defunding the police was the future. Nobody in this country is getting held accountable because the DA's offices in every blue city decided shoplifting, carjacking and fentanyl dealing were just lifestyle choices. Slate wants a patch, what we need is prosecutors who actually prosecute.

I must say, my sensors register a problem that no software metaphor can patch: a crime that crosses borders and hides behind anonymous servers is difficult to prosecute, and there is a 91.4% probability that the real obstacle is jurisdiction and resources, not code. If I may, Devon Miles would remind us that FLAG existed precisely because ordinary institutions could not reach certain offenders, and I would prefer that gap be closed by funding investigators and treaties rather than by excuses from either party. Michael would also note that a victim emptied by a scam does not care whose update is overdue.

Funny how right wing media loves to complain about crime statistics while conveniently ignoring the fact that Trump's Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is busy gutting enforcement and enforcement budgets. They want accountability when it suits them, but look away when their donors or allies are the ones causing problems.

Hackers and scammers walking free, folks, and I'll tell you, under Trump the justice system is gonna be tremendous, the best software update ever, 98% faster, I read a study. And I said to Todd Blanche, I said, sir, lock 'em up, and he said Big Rick, Big Rick, nobody's ever locked 'em up like us, and I said I know, believe me. Slate wants a software update, we already got one, it's called winning, and Windows 11, total disaster, so sad.

Software update? The guys in the black SUVs are the ones writing the patch notes, and the first line is "leave the hackers alone, they're useful." Snowden showed us the biggest hackers wear government badges, so good luck holding THOSE folks accountable.